14 Years without T.J.

“The Emotional Muscles of Grief Theory (Cacciatore, 2010) posits that grief is not something that diminishes over time but instead remains constant, like a weight we carry. Over time, by engaging with and being present with the grief—what can be thought of as "lifting the weight" daily—individuals build the emotional strength, or "muscles," required to carry it.”

14 years ago, a beautiful boy, my son, T.J. Sefcik felt a pain and self-loathing so intense and overwhelming that it stole his ability to look forward to a time when the pain would ease. He believed the only option to save himself and his family was to take his own life. His death caused a wave of devastation felt by so many who loved and supported him, and the heartbreak was crushing in its weight.  

And here we are 14 years later still grappling with the effects of that day—still carrying that crushing weight—holding it close every single day.   The heaviest, hardest and most heartbreaking of weights, but through the continued LOVE and support of so many we have built the muscles to carry the weight that will never go away. We have literally been lifted by LOVE—T.J.’s love that never leaves us and the love of the most amazing family and friends.  We are once again able to stand tall and strong. The intense weight of grief is as heavy as it has been since that dark December night 14 years ago, but by being present with our grief and allowing so many others to help us with the lifting our muscles have strengthened and allow us to move forward fully lifted by love. Heartfelt thanks to everyone who has supported us in so many ways these past 14 years. Posted with love and T.J hugs