Today I Remember the LOVE

Today, is T.J.’s 20th birthday.

Today, I reflect on all the wonderful moments I shared with my beautiful boy. I don’t dwell on his death or the devastating depression that stole T.J. from us. The moment of his death never leaves me, but today it is his life I focus on.

Today, I can still remember the joy I felt when all 9 pounds 6 ounces of T.J. was placed in my arms. From the minute he was born, life took on a new luster. Everything was brighter with T.J. He was a wonderful baby and as a toddler he kept us running from morning ‘til night. He walked early, talked sooner and did everything with focus and passion.

Today, I remember the little boy who delighted me with stories and antics, with sensitivity and brilliance. The hours we spent building legos and kinnects or creating some concoction in the kitchen.

Today, I remember the young child who raced off the school bus to share stories of his day and played front-yard baseball with his brothers and friends. The child who spent hours roller-blading up ramps and grinding rails, making videos of his adventures.

Today, I remember the boy who built snow ramps in the woods and raced around on his dirt bike. The boy who wanted to share this with his mom who sat on the back of his dirt bike screaming as they both laughed with delight.

Today, I remember the teenager who sat at our kitchen island keeping me company while I prepared dinner, who asked advice about girls and wondered how my day was.

Today I remember my T.J. whose heart was pure, but whose brain chemistry failed.

Today I remember all the love.

Happy Birthday Teej.