Grief and the holidays

Christmas conjures up so many memories of years past. It is impossible to move through the season without focusing on those who are no longer with us on this earth. So many have lost someone. Many have empty seats at their holiday tables. Wherever you go, people shout “Merry Christmas!” “Happy Holidays!” For those missing someone, these words emphasize the gaping loss in our lives.

I’ve learned if I allow myself to step back and breathe, I can absorb the feelings of peace and good will that go with the greetings without feeling sucker punched by the words. Merry and happy are in direct conflict with the feelings grief evokes, but peace and good will help ease the ache of grief.

If we make the holidays a time of reflection, the pain of loss becomes bearable. As I reflect on Christmases past and the delight of my 3 boys around the Christmas tree, I am warmed by those precious days and my heart is filled with joy.

For my husband and 2 surviving sons, the absence of T.J. around the tree creates a deafening silence, but the energy of his spirit and the love he left behind propels us forward to move through this season and the days that follow with love in our hearts. I am sending you all wishes for peace and good will in your life today and all days to follow.

With much love and T.J. hugs.